Discussion and Conversation

1. Discuss the following questions in groups of 2-3. Make good use of topical vocabulary (See Section 3, task 8):

1. Do you agree that the essay by E Fromm is noteworthy for its coherence? What makes it such? Quote from the text, where necessary.

2. Do you agree with the author that most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love? And how do you look at this problem?

3. Do you agree with the author’s portrayal of the ways to make oneself lovable? Are they the same as those you would use? Are they really the same as those used to make oneself successful?

4. What do you think of the author’s presentation of the change of values on the personality market?

5. What type of love does the author present as not lasting and why? Do you think he is right? Why?

6. What do you think the author meant by “overwhelming evidence to the contrary” in paragraph 7? What examples can you give?

7. Does the author seriously suggest to study the meaning of love? Would you do what he suggests – examine the reasons for the failure in love, if you encounter one?

8. How do you like the author’s idea to compare love to art? Do you think it is right to do so? Do you find his argumentation convincing? What does it mean to be artful in love in practical terms?

9. What is the essence of the mastery of love as an art for you? What are the things one should master to be happier in love?

10. If love is an art why do people so rarely treat it as such?

Work in pairs. Basing on the key words and phrases guess the number of the paragraph and retell it, trying to be as close to the source text as possible. Correct your partner and help to improve.

1.error, assumption,confusion,falling in love, permanent state, strangers, feel one, moment of oneness, exhilarating, shut off, isolated, miracle of sudden intimacy, sexual attraction and consummation, not lasting, antagonism, mutual boredom, the intensity of the infatuation, take for proof of, preceding loneliness.

2. related to, feature, contemporary culture, appetite for buying, mutually favourable exchange, prizes, a nice package of qualities, personality market, fashion of the time, attractive; an attractive “package”, human commodities, out for a bargain, social value, assets and potentialities, available on the market, exchange values, hidden potentialities, marketing orientation, material success is the outstanding value, pattern of exchange, commodity and the labour market.

3. divided conveniently, mastery of the theory; mastery of the practice, theoretical knowledge, competent in, become a master, a great deal of practice,blended into one, the essence of, a matter of ultimate concern; obvious failures, deep-seated cravingfor love, how to achieve these aims, to learn the art of loving.

3. Working with a partner and discussing every point fill in the blanks with the links from the box below:

This peculiar attitude is based on several premises ______singly ____combined tend to uphold it. Most people see the problem of love primarily _____that of being loved, _______that of loving, of one’s capacity to love. ______the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable. In pursuit of this aim they follow several paths. One, _______is especially used by men, is to be successful, to be ____powerful and rich _____the social margin of one’s position permits._____, used especially by women, is to make oneself attractive, by cultivating one’s body, dress, etc. _____ways of making oneself attractive, used both by men and women, are to develop pleasant manners, interesting conversation, to be helpful, modest, inoffensive. Many of the ways to make oneself lovable are ______those used to make oneself successful, “to win friends and influence people”.________, what most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal.

A second premise behind the attitude that there is nothing to be learnt about love is the assumption ___the problem of love is the problem of an object, not the problem of a faculty. People think that to love is simple, ___to find the right object to love ___to be loved –is difficult. This attitude has several reasons rooted in the development of modern society. One reason is the great change, ____occurred in the twentieth century ____the choice of a “love object”. In the Victorian age, ____in many traditional cultures, love was mostly not a spontaneous personal experience, _____might lead to marriage._____, marriage was contracted by convention –_____by the respective families, _____by a marriage broker, or without the help of such intermediaries; it was concluded on the basis of social considerations, _____love was supposed to develop once the marriage had been concluded. In the last few generations the concept of romantic love has become almost universal in the Western world. In the United States, _____considerations of a conventional nature are not entirely absent, to a vast extent people are in search of “romantic love”, of the personal experience of love, which then should lead to marriage. This new concept of freedom in love must have greatly enhanced the importance of the object _______the function.

Dialogue.